Thursday, March 7, 2013

Spouse or children - which comes first?


For some time now I have heard this question being asked. Who is a priority - your spouse or your children? Most times this question is followed by comments on how one cannot begin to fathom how a woman can place her husband over her children. And most times I do not join in the debate. But today I will let you know what I think.

My husband is my priority. He always has and always will be. I started this with him – just us two. My daughter is part of our family but she has no stake in my marriage. That is between my husband and I. Now, I love my daughter very much and I really cannot compare the love a mother feels toward her child to the love I feel for my husband. They are different and are both very intense. But when it comes prioritizing I know that my daughter needs to grow up seeing her parents in a loving, selfless relationship. She must see that love gives unselfishly and that her parents think of each other as important. She must see that we are a team. A team in teaching her what life is all about. A team in loving her. A team in disciplining her. A strong united team. And I cannot do that if I think less of my husband. I must actively show her that I think her father is worth respecting and loving. That he is worth her admiration. Otherwise, if I place her above him we become a team against her father.

I know that many women will be amazed when they read this. Some may even label me a bad mother. I’ve heard people say that one can always find another spouse but your kids will always be yours. In my opinion, if you treat your spouse like he or she is replaceable then you will, most likely, be replaced. And isn’t that what is killing our marriages? The fact that we go in with an exit clause? We don’t expect it to last so we always look out for what will make if fail. It’s no longer a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. And so we turn our attention to our children. We do all we can to make sure they turn out right without giving much thought to our spouse. But we forget that when God made the family he intended the parents to be a strong united team. He had a plan. Don’t mess with it or it will mess with you.

I know that my parents love me. I know that I’m very important to them. But I also know – beyond the shadow of a doubt – that they value their relationship way above mine. And I’m glad I got to see that. I got to see that a man cherishes and loves his wife – just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for it. My parents’ relationship made me feel secure. And I want that for my kids.

My marriage must be strong for my family to be strong. 

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Ebinsanyusa (Things that make me happy)


I've decided to take note of the things that make me happy so every Wednesday I'll be blogging about things that have made me happy in the last week. I realised it's so easy to focus on what did not go your way and forget the simple things that God put in your life to put a smile on your face. 
So, introducing 'Ebinsanyusa' :)

I recently started using 'Soft & Beautiful Just For Me' hair products on Mwagala's hair and I'm in love with them. Plus they smell so good! Score! I switched from another hair product because I couldn’t get all the products and I was a bit worried but I’m so glad it all worked out. It really helps to soften her hair and make it easy to work with. Plus the scalp conditioner is not too greasy. Did I mention I love it? *sigh*


I’ve been reading again! I cannot tell you how much I have wanted to be able to sit back and read a book without worrying about Mwagala ripping the pages out. I started reading a book by Francine Rivers called ‘Sons of Encouragement’- five novellas about biblical men of faith. I’m loving it. I already finished one part which had me jumping for joy! I’m learning a lot about God’s mercy & faithfulness.


I’m driving a manual car! *fist pump*  The first time I drove alone I was so nervous that I couldn’t even eat breakfast. But now I don’t panic. And I’m enjoying my newfound freedom. Yay!


Monday, February 25, 2013

11 months old



Mwagala is 11 months old today! I can't believe how fast time flies! Just one more month till she's one year old.

I've not been very good at monthly updates - I'm sorry :( But I hope this sort of makes up for it.

Weight: 10kgs
Clothing size: 12-18 months
Milestones:

  • Standing on her own for about ten seconds.
  • Saying 'Mama' - when she REALLY wants my attention, Taata, Jajja, Bird, Ti -to (meaning tick tock for the clock), Bye bye, butto (meaning button), Da (meaning dance), 
  • Dancing. For real! She puts her hands up and moves to the beat! Hahaha!
  • Eating solids without a fight. This one took a lot of prayers. She would eat just a little before but now she eats three full meals and snacks in-between. *fist pump*
  • She has four teeth now! And many times she'll do a test run on Mama *smh*
  • Potty training. We're doing pretty well on this one. She is not very comfortable going in her diaper anymore.



The first time she stood on her own.


Potty training

Likes:
  • Yoghurt
  • Chicken
  • Rice
  • Bananas
  • Her books
  • Her toothpaste
  • Music
  • Car rides
  • Playing with water
Dislikes:
  • Saying bye to Mama or Taata
  • Having a song end in the middle of her dance
  • Washing her hair
Food: She doesn't like pureed food anymore so I just roughly mash her food. She likes to hold a whole banana and bite into it herself. She's still breast feeding but mostly in the morning and at night. Her favorite foods are chicken & plain yoghurt. 

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Not what I imagined...

I always wanted a little girl and when I found out I was expecting a girl I was thrilled! I had always imagined what it would be like to do her hair, dress her up in pretty little dresses and eventually have girly conversations.
I also imagined that she would sit still while I do some chores and that she would enjoy playing with her toys while in one place.
I was so wrong. My Mwagala is not capable of sitting still. Once I put her down and surround her with toys to play with she reaches out for something else - the remote control, one of my beloved books or a shoe.



I've been finding it quite frustrating since I spend most of the time saying 'No'. And that is usually met with a smile and even more determination to do what I'm firmly telling her not to. But I'm beginning to come to terms with the fact that she is discovering all sorts of things and that I should let her. So what if I dreamed of a little girl who would sit still? I've got a beautiful, adventurous and very energetic little girl. I'm going to enjoy that. And stop saying no just because I don't want her to touch something. If it's not dangerous then I'll keep my mouth shut.
And she seems much happier with this new me so I guess it's working :)

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Valentine's Banquet

Usually we don't celebrate Valentine's Day. I have nothing against it but I just don't pay much attention to it. Anyway, this year our church decided to have a banquet in honour of Valentine's Day for married couples and couples in committed relationships at the Kampala Serena Hotel. So we decided to go and have some fun.

We sent Mwagala off to her grandparents' house and got all dolled up for the event. It was awesome! The food was good, the music was fantastic and my date was so much fun :) The photos were taken with my phone so they are not the best - sorry :(

The venue


The 5 course menu - yum!

Me & my handsome date :)

The centrepieces
We had a great time. It was nice to have a date night. It's so easy for us to focus on Mwagala and forget to have time for just us.

And I had to get my hair done before the dinner so I drove to the salon and back all by myself in a manual car! I was super proud of myself. No more excuses :)



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