Mwagala’s personality is developing everyday. She makes herself laugh and throws her head back as she does so. She complains when something does not go her way. She dances at the sound of a rhythm. She crawls up to me and says ‘Mama’ then once I’ve given her my full attention she holds her face up to mine and lingers as if to say “I love you’ (this is my favouriteJ).
Today it rained. Hard. Mwagala does not really like the rain. She was nursing when it started but she stopped nursing and held on to me. Then the hail started coming down. And my laptop happened to be in a dangerous place where the rain could get to it. So I put her down so that I could grab it and place it somewhere else. She was mad! And scared. I actually hadn’t realized how scared she was until she cried. My heart broke. That something as small as a rain storm could scare her reminded me that she needs me to reassure her sometimes. She doesn’t know what this world is all about and she needs me to help her realize that a rain storm is not so bad.
So I held her. I held her and rocked her to sleep. And she kept holding onto me until she was fast asleep. I will keep that moment in my heart. The moment when nothing else made her feel safe but me holding her in my arms. I’ll remember the way she looked at me while I assured her that everything was alright.
And I’ll always remember that she is a person. A little person with emotions that she may not fully understand but that need to be dealt with and that I need to be the one to help her figure them out.
Well, until she thinks she knows better J